and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
