So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize