I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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