yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
