Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
