My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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