im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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