I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
