I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
