I must be too annoying 4 u.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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