Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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