When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
