my mouth tastes like poor choices
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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