Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
