Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
