So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I want to be your penis for a week.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
