why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
