He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
