is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize