: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
