I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Ladies don't puke and tell
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize