Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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