JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
