You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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