I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize