k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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