just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
