im drinking this country out of the recession.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
accomplished twins. life is a go
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Randomize
