So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize