MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
