Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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