Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
