i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
