Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
