Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
