no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Randomize
