He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Randomize
