pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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