I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
