He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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