What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize