Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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