The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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