That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Randomize
