chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
We need to rekindle our bromance
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
