I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
