Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
