I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
