I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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