This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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