I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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