My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
my shit smells like andre
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
