Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
