can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
