I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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