i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
