He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
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