i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
