Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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