ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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